January 13, 2009
In which I am interviewed by the lovely Miss KissThis:
1. What is the best gift you’ve ever been given, and why? And the worst?
The best gift I’ve ever been given, hands down, was a six-foot long, iron tipped spear from the mom of a friend for my college graduation. I majored in Classics, and this friend and I had a running joke about me doing all sorts of “classical” things like dressing up in armor and walking around campus (which I never did, by the way). His mom’s family runs a landfill, and someone apparently threw this awesome spear out, so she grabbed it and they gave it to me for graduation. They followed it up this past Christmas with a Greek-style bronze helmet! All I need now are greaves and I’ll be all set.
The worst gift… I dunno. Probably some generic bath products from someone who didn’t really put any thought into it. That happens a lot in middle school.

2. What is one sexual thing that you have never done but want to do?
This is going to sound totally lame, but the I really want to be able to spend the night with someone I’m in love with. With my ex, circumstances made is such that I could go over to his place and we’d have sex, but I’d always have to leave afterwards.

3. Pick one deceased famous person to bring back to life. Who are they, and why did you pick them?
Hmmm….I think I’d probably bring back Hammurabi. He was a total neurotic mess and micro-manager, which I think is hilarious. We’d probably get along really well.
Also possibly Aaron Burr. He was an alumnus of my university, and as we like to say there, “Alexander Hamilton had it coming.”

4. Describe the time and place of your best sexual encounter.
I lost my virginity at a conference, in a hotel room where the power had gone out. (The hotel was in Ohio, but that’s not all that great, haha.) My ex was very gentle and affectionate, and it was the nicest time I’ve ever had.

5. What is the very first website you check when you get online, and why?
I’d say the websites I check immediately (with the exception of my gmail, of course), are Shakesville and ThinkProgress. I’m an outspoken feminist and political news junkie, and during the election I was checking these sites (and others) literally every ten minutes.

Want to be part of it? Follow these instructions:
1. Leave me a comment saying, “Interview me.”
2. I will respond by emailing you five questions. I get to pick the questions.
3. You will update your blog with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.


So…clearly I don’t want to write any more papers

January 7, 2009


So I’m going to post!  I’m in increasingly bad shape paper-wise, but for some reason it just isn’t bothering me all that much.

In other news, the lovely Miss KissThis bought me a Xtreme Pack G-Spot bullet, which I have been lusting after for months.  Basically, she’s awesome.  It should be here tomorrow and I’m *so* excited.

Also, I’ve been poking around on Eden to avoid doing real work, and I’ve come to realize that I really, really want a harness.  Specifically, the Jaguar harness.  Now, this is a little strange because I’m currently partner-less, and thus have no one to use it on.  But I’m just ridiculously attracted to the Jaguar: it looks so cool.  I don’t really know what I’d do with it at this point, but I want it.

Happy Birthday to Me!

January 3, 2009


(For more hilariously bad cakes, see Cake Wrecks.)

Today is my birthday! I’m 24. I had the following conversation with my sister this morning:

Sister: Happy Birthday! 24 is a pretty useful number. It’s divisible by lots of things.

Toygirl: Yeah, but 23 was prime, and that was pretty awesome, too.

Sister: True. We’re nerds.

I have been gifted a Waterproof Turbo Glider Blueberry by Backseat Boohoo, who is a total sweetie and didn’t know how good her timing was!

Otherwise, I’m still kind of sick and still working on papers, so it’s not going to be my best birthday ever. My present to myself will be getting one of my drafts done!

Buhbye, 2008.

January 2, 2009

Well, 2008 wasn’t that great for me, since it was filled with PTSD and depression.  I’m hoping 2009 will be better: I’m coming off of some of the medication I’ve been on, and hopefully the side effects will go away.

There were, however, some really good things about 2008.  My favorite part of 2008 was, hands down, June through August, when I biked across the USA with Bike and Build.  Bike and Build runs 7 cross-country bike trips for the 18-26 crowd, each with 30 people.  Every cyclist is responsible for raising at least $4,000 for affordable housing before the start of the trip.  We averaged about 100 miles a day, and about once a week we stopped and did a build with a local Habitat for Humanity chapter.  If you have the monet and you’d like to donate to a charity, let me recommend Bike and Build: it’s an amazing and growing non-profit, and the affordable housing cause has never been more important.

It was an amazing experience: I learned how to do a bunch of practical construction and repair stuff, made good friends with 30 other service-oriented students, and became a black-belt cyclist.  My trip went through the Southwest, and I’d never been there before (it’s beautiful).  I’m considering doing it again in 2010 and maybe doing the Northern US route this time.

The best part of the trip, though, was the fact that every time we did a build, we were building right alongside the family that was going to live in that particular house.  We met a lot of truly amazing people who volunteer for Habitat.  There are people who are genuinely trying to help others.  I’m so jaded that I needed to be reminded of that.

As for 2009, I’ve never been one for resolutions, but I’d really like not to be depressed anymore.  I’m making that my number 1 goal for this year.  I don’t want to deal with any more flashbacks, panic attacks, nightmares, or suicidal thoughts.  I want to feel normal again.  I don’t want to let my abuse run my life.  And I’m hoping if I say that out loud enough times, I’ll be able to get better.

Exams Blah

December 30, 2008

Well, I’m back from break, and since my university is one of the few that has finals *after* break, I have returned to a long, painful slog of text production.  That’s right: papers.  Like, six of them.

Urgh.  Wish me luck.  I’m sure I’ll be around plenty (procrastination!!!).

Home for the Holidays

December 23, 2008

Well, I somehow managed to make it home, despite the fact that there was a *ground hold* at the airport I flew out of.  It’s weird to say “home”, actually: I’m a grad student now, with a real apartment that’s technically “home”.  But it doesn’t feel right to say that I’m now in “my parents’ house”, since it is the house I grew up in.  Anyway.

I’m now home.  I had forgotten how freakin’ COLD my parents keep the house.  So, I’m cold and I’m a little miserable.  I don’t know if it’s the holiday blues or what, but I miss my ex a lot.  It’s totally screwed up: he abused me, and I’m still in love with him.  Every time I think about him I cry, because of the trauma and because I still want to be with him.  I want him back.  I know it’s stupid, but I can’t stop feeling this way.  If he came to me today and asked me to take him back, I’d do it in a heartbeat.  I fantasize all the time about him wanting me back.  I’m miserable.

It’s all a moot point, since he got rid of me as soon as he could.  I still talk to him sometimes, and I think he’s sorry for messing me up so much.  I don’t want to go into the details of why our situation was so traumatic, but he’s a really screwed-up person.  Lots of bad stuff has happened to him, and it makes it difficult to be angry with him for what happened.  I’m trying to move on, but I’m tired.  I’m starting to think I’ll never get over it.  I miss him a lot.


On a totally different note, the LayaSpot and the B-naughty came home with me.  I’ll try to have a review of the latter up soon.


December 17, 2008

So, I bought a LELO Iris and Nea off of ebay, and the seller seems to have taken my money and run. Doesn’t really look like there’s anything I can do about it, either. I am NOT pleased.

Update: The good folks at eBay have given me the money I lost towards a future purchase, so everything seems to have worked out alright in the end. 🙂  I honestly wasn’t expecting them to do anything, so it was a nice surprise.