Freaking Out

So, I’m taking a leave of medical absence from grad school next semester. Because of this, I have to find a job. I have never had a job before. I don’t want a real-world job. I’m happy in academia, that’s why I’m getting a PhD. I’m working on getting a job as a teaching assistant, but everything is up in the air and I’m very anxious. I wish I didn’t have to do this, but I’m not going to enjoy what I do or be good at it if I’m still fuzzy from my antidepressants.

I’m actually having a panic attack about it. I’m going to take a sedative. Ugh.

Update: my abusive ex just e-mailed me and scared me, so now I’m really glad I brought that Ativan home with me. 😦

Update 2: One annoying thing about being at home is that when you retreat to your room crying, everyone wants to check on you (none of my family has any idea about anything that’s happened to me and I’m trying to keep it that way).  Sigh.

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3 Responses to Freaking Out

  1. Epiphora says:

    I’ve never had a real job either. Good luck!!

    I’m sorry everything is sucking so badly for you. At least you have this blog to vent about it eh? And Twitter? haha.

  2. Toygirl says:

    It’s good to vent, but I feel bad about being all cranky all the time, lol.

  3. DBD says:

    Freaking out is good. It’s actually pretty normal in life. It happens from time to time. Here’s a HUG!

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